Lacie Cuskin has a ground-breaking new scientific theory out just in time for the holidays, presented at External Delivery the Future:
What is External Delivery?
External delivery refers to a scientific research program as well as a community of older kids, teachers, and other adults who seek evidence of external sources of Christmas presents. The theory of external delivery holds that certain features of how Christmas presents are delivered each year are best explained by an external source, not an internal source such as your parents.
Through careful study and analysis, Sexternal delivery proponentsists are able to determine the distinct features of presents that don’t come from our parents, such as those given by strangers, and then seek to find similar informational properties in Christmas presents. By applying this scientific method, older kids have identified many irrefutably external structures in Christmas presents.
Is External Delivery the same as Santa Clausism?
No. The theory of external delivery is only concerned with empirically testing whether Christmas presents are delivered by an external agent, or an internal agent such as your parents. Santa Clausism typically starts with the premise that Santa Claus is delivering presents, and then seeks to fit the evidence to that theory. The theory of external delivery has developed strictly from objective interpretations of the empirical evidence.
The delivery inference – that’s brilliant… hehe!